Sunday, May 13, 2007

Saint on the Roof

I have the first lights of the sun like in that aria I like to listen, and so many things less... The view I watch every night from the roof that I live is breath-takingly beautiful. Sometimes at night, after placing a favorite record on my old faithful phonograph I open the door of the balcony, I dive in to explore this marvelous scenery everytime with the taste of the tea I make. I have lived long enough in this city as I dont miss the country that I came from anymore, and also I am happy to be here. I think, my only support in the struggle of this lonely life is having a strong belief. According to me, having a belief is like knowing the road that you go. Otherwise how lost and helpless is the man, what is the meaning of his existence or the opposite, his extinction...?
When I returned home that night, there was a surprise waiting for me in my one room flat on the roof: a stranger. As I found him sitting on a chair infront of my balcony I asked him with an inacurate accent yet I couldnt establish: "What do you want? Who are you?" The thoughts that crossed my mind were exactly these: he was either a thief or a killer, he would act like that soon and the end was my fate... "Dont be afraid", he said, "I only want to talk" I hanged my raincoat on the back of the door and calmly reached for the kettle on the table. "Tea?" When he refused my offer by shaking his head, I couldnt understand what he really meant. "Let me make tea for myself then, ok?..." I put the kettle over the fire after I filled it with water from from the tap at a small distance then I sat on my bed. There was no place to sit in my room as I had no visitors. "Yes, I am listening to you...", I said. He gave me the papers that he took out of his pocket. "These writings belong to me and I want to leave them to you, if you dont mind", he said. I asked him if he was wanted by the police or not while looking at his notes. He said that it was not that easy, the things that struck my eye in his notes wasnt so significant to me. "Would you like to tell what happened?", I said looking into his eyes.
He told me everything he had known for hours. He expected me to believe in all but it wasnt so easy for me... After all I had heard, I thought that he was crazy. When he said he wanted to make a small demonstration for me I truly began to feel afraid. "You have a knife?", he had asked. I could only shake my head I guess, meaning -why?-. At last I was about to meet my fears. I remember how I trembled while holding out the knife. As he didnt want to extend this torture, he stabbed the knife into his arm and the tip of the knife burst out from the other side of his arm, then he drew it back. I was looking at him taken aback with surprise that I saw no sign of pain on his face. The wound closed slowly as the blood spilled on the carpet dissappeared like being vaporized. "Do you believe in me now?" After I overthrow the shock I daringly touched where the wound once had been. I managed to say: "You are serious!" All of a sudden we began to laugh, I guess we both had a nervous breakdown. "Yes, I want to meet with the sun at last", he said then. "Help me for the first lights of the day to find me again. I want to put an end to this eternal night, I want to end it the way I want. Please"
There were a few hours before the sunrise. I dont know why priests have to face such things that nobody dares to do but I think it is our price to pay. He fastened himself on the barrier of the balcony with handcuffs he brought. He gave me the keys. "Whatever I say, never give those keys back to me. Just wait until it's all over... Put my remains inside a box and carry out my last will" A visionary scene came infront of my eyes. I was at the back of a boat, passing by a big island. After being sure that noone was around I opened up the box in my hand and threw the ashes over the sea... If He existed somehow there had to be a reason!? "This is suicide", I said. I had to stop this. "You cant make me an accomplice for this last sin of yours" As I unlocked the handcuffs I felt him pierce his teeth into my neck. The story of the saint on the roof ends here... The things I've told and I will tell are as real as I am.